The Pasch Life: Post Divorce

I normally don’t get this personal here but I’ve learned that sharing can help someone else.

IMG_1561.JPG
It has been 2 days since my divorce has been finalized and I’m still smiling. I could cry from sheer relief and joy to be free from that man.

Rewind to 2 years ago I was afraid at just the thought of being a single woman and mom. I was a stay-at-home mom for most of our marriage and I knew the changes were going to be major and hard. I remember sharing my fears with my girlfriend who was recently divorced and she smiled at me and calmly said, “You’re going to be just fine, honey.” I was mad at her; did she not grasp what was going to happen to me? LOL. Seems silly to me now to have doubted her. My girlfriends loved and supported me in every way through this process. I am so blessed.

2 years of therapy, small group through my church, anti-depressants, meditation, yoga and serious soul searching. I had Come to Jesus meetings with myself all.the.time. It was a conscious effort to not crumble. After separating, I found out many lies…so much deceit and he just wasn’t who I married anymore at all. He had cheated before but the level of sneakiness was just gross. Our divorce wasn’t final and he had alienated our children, hidden (or at least tried to) the fact he relocated his mistress to our neighborhood, bought her a car and an engagement ring. I learned a lot through various court hearings and he even lied under oath. He simply wasn’t the man I married. He’s posing as a church pastor and CFO while claiming unemployment. While it hurt to come to terms with this new reality…it has also helped!

Fast forward to today, there is still healing to do and new hurdles. Claiming to be unemployed (The good reverend and CFO) is already late with his first child support + alimony payment. Oh and no, he doesn’t see his kids per the Parenting Plan which is just as well, he has been so messy they aren’t in a rush to hang out with him either. I’m working; a flexible job that I enjoy in my degree’d field and while I’m stretched running around between 3 children, I’m glad I’m able to. I’m dating and that’s new (LOL) but it’s been fun.

This I know: we are better off. My kids need a father that will lead by example. They are striving in school and we have all gotten closer. We are a team. I encourage them to love him and give it time to get better. They have positive self images and are great kids. As for me, I have trust issues, financial woes and I don’t know what tomorrow holds…but I’m happier than I’ve been in many, many years. I was coasting through life; taking care of him and the kids and putting myself last. I’m learning to do more for myself and enjoying being single. For now I feel safe being single. Divorce is not the end for me, it’s the beginning! AND…I forgive him; I’m not bound by hate! Life is good! Goodness is in store for me. Until next time…xox, Pascha.

IMG_1564.PNG

Holiday Etiquette Tips | House of Vanity Charm School

Hi Luvs!  I reached out to Ms. Pean to share her Holiday Etiquette Tips with us.   A lady needs to refresh on her manners every now and then ::wink::I hope you enjoy her tips as much as I did. Thank you, Alisha! xo, Pascha

etiquette, holiday etiquette, House of Vanity Charm School, Alisha Pean

Its that time of year to hit the Holiday Parties, play Secret Santa in the Office, and give wonderful gifts to the people we love! Here are 5 tips to help you get through the holiday season with class & grace and be on the top of everyone’s gift list for next year.

Holiday Cards

It may seem old fashioned to give out holiday cards but they still work. With so much technology at our fingertip, we find ourselves sending out “Happy Holidays” text and Facebook Wall posts of well wishes. But how much more genuine would it feel to open up your mailbox and find a nice holiday card (right behind that credit card bill lol!).

Gift Giving

When it comes to giving gifts, you want to get something that shows your sentiments towards the recipient. Of course it helps to have a list, but you don’t always get one. So when in doubt, seek out gifts that complements the person’s personality or their favorite hobbies. If they love golf, get them a set of designer golf ball or if they love to cook, buy them some cooking accessories from a chef novelty store (not the dollar store, c’mon!). If you’re on a budget, candles and picture frames are great gifts people can use at any time.

Holiday Parties

It’s time to let loose at the office!! No! No its not! Although you will have the opportunity to mix and mingle with your co-workers over drinks and fancy attire, your boss will still be watching. Be sure that you know your alcohol limits and practice good etiquette when attending holiday (and all other) parties.

Spreading the Holiday Cheer

Now is the time to be philanthropic! When you are headed out to dinner, be sure to tip the server generously (provided they have giving excellent service). Give to a charity, even if it’s only $5.00. Donate to a toy drive, or start your own. Spreading holiday cheer, whether financially or verbally, can have a great effect on you but an even better effect on someone else.

Holiday Dining Etiquette

It is very important to know your etiquette. Knowing the right fork to use for every course can be helpful on many occasions. Let’s say you’re meeting the parents for the first time, how important is it for you to make a good impression? Very (I hope)! It can also come in handy at those holiday office parties where the boss will be watching to see if he/she can send you out to client lunches and dinners.

For more information and classes on Etiquette and Charming Lady Behavior, click here.

Happy Holidays!

Go forth and be Classy

Alisha Pean

Alisha Pean

Alisha Pean, House of Vanity Charm School

My name is Alisha Pean and I help women to look, think, and feel Fabulous with the Alisha Pean, Lifestyle & Consulting Brand. I am a Newark, NJ native and I understand the hardships that urban women, especially single mothers, face trying to live a successful life.  I have a background in Fashion and Design as well as Psychology. I used my background to create a lifestyle brand that addresses the most common obstacles women face in their daily lives. I created a jewelry line 5 years ago called Domestic Diva Designs to empower moms to reclaim their confidence and liveliness. I have since renamed it Vanity Couture because I want to help all women to look fabulous and be more confident through fashion accessories. A year ago, I realized that it wasnt enough to just recreate our outer in order for women to lead more fulfilling lives. From that, I created the House of Vanity Charm School that offers personal development classes to teens and women. The classes include Dining Etiquette, Stiletto 101, Ms. Socialite, and a full program for teens to learn the principles of being a young lady. I also offer Life Coaching to women to target internal conflicts that hinder achieving self-fulfillment. It is my mission to help others to develop a sense of awareness of themselves and the world around them to learn the game of life and use our femininity and education to play it well.

Review: One Direction Makeup Kit

One Direction Makeup Kit, Makeup by 1D, makeup review, beauty blogger, markwins

How pretty and bright are these kits by One Direction?  So excited to have received these gratis from BrandBacker but please believe the review is MINE.   I had a good time with my daughters using all of these.  Anyone can rock them but  these are awesome for a pre-teen or tween girl.  These make great gifts! They can be found here. Check out my reviews by product category below and keep scrolling for more photos.  :-)

Electroglam Mascaras: 3 vibrant and fun colors.  They all look good on Taylor and I actually like the blue the best.  These mascaras are not only for eyelashes, they can be used on hair also.  Multi purpose!

One Direction, One Direction Electroglam Mascara

One Direction, One Direction Electroglam Mascara

One Direction, One Direction Electroglam Mascara

One Direction, One Direction Electroglam Mascara

 

Liquilights Glow Glosses: 3 sheer and glitter infused lip glosses.  Great applicator and just so pretty.  It shows better as swatches than on the lips-they are that sheer.

One Direction, One Direction Liquilights Glow Gloss

 

Rock Me Nail Varnishes: 3 great polish shades with complimentary glitters.  Fun!  Polishes go on evenly, dry fairly quickly and evenly with a sheer finish.

One Direction, One Direction Rock Me Nail Varnish,

One Direction, One Direction Rock Me Nail Varnish,

One Direction, One Direction Rock Me Nail Varnish,

One Direction, One Direction Rock Me Nail Varnish,

One Direction, One Direction Rock Me Nail Varnish,

 

Powered by BrandBacker.

8 Things I Learned From My No-Buy

no-buy, spending detox, shopping, spending habits

No really…I did a no-buy for the month of November.  I mean, I get a ton of free stuff, how hard could it be, right? SUPER HARD! How’d I do? As you can see above, I broke once; for an amazing price mark down on Thanksgiving night.  I kept a list of all that I wanted during the no-buy but by the next day…I didn’t care and marked off all but one. Something I wanted so badly but refused to buy because of my no-buy.  It was half off on Thanksgiving night!  I passed on many, many sales that whole Thanksgiving weekend. It was deeply discounted, so I justified my slip; I continued on the rest of the month successfully.  Scroll to the end to see my new baby.  Any good makeup junkie would understand, LOL.

Have you ever done a no-buy, how did you do?  If so, please share with me in the comments area.

Here are 8 things I learned about myself during the month of November:

  1. I am–er, was (!) an emotional shopper. There.  Admitted.
  2. There are free outlets to lift my spirits. No, seriously. A walk, the gym, yoga, green tea.
  3. I have enough already. Shopping my stash was amazing!  I have some great stuff.
  4. Cleaning and reorganizing my makeup gives me the same high as buying new makeup.
  5. I get plenty of freebies to satisfy my “wanting something new to try.”
  6. I am pickier and more decisive when I purchase.  You know, the whole need vs. want drama.
  7. I can do anything I set my mind to.
  8. I will continue with a no-buy mindset.  Saving is more important to me.
Kat Von D, Star Studded Palette, Sephora, makeup

Kat Von D Star Studded Eyeshadow Palette.

 

New Kat Von D Innerstellar Eyeshadow Palette

IMG_1072-0.PNG
Hi y’all! This is a beautiful palette but I’m passing on the Innertellar eyeshadow palette (top photo), it’s look like a mix of the Chrysalis and Monarch palettes. What do you think?
IMG_1089.JPGAvailable now on Sephora’s website. Limited edition for VIB. Priced at $46.

Marsala: 2015 Pantone Color of the Year

First impression? Meh. How many ways can burgundy be reinvented for crying out loud? Last year was Oxblood. Marsala is a flat, burgundy color. I’m not feeling it. What do you think?
IMG_0993.PNG

IMG_1001.PNG

Photo Credit: Archilovers

I’m picking for 2015 and I choose BLACK. Looks good on everyone and it’s chic. Any questions? ::buffs nails::

IMG_1004.JPG

Review: Paula Dorf Eyeshadow + Mascara

Paula Dorf, makeup, beauty, review, BrandBacker, Paula Dorf Cosmetics

 

Hey y’all! I was so happy to be chosen to receive Paula Dorf’s Aztec City Eye Pallete and Paula Dorf’s Teal Mascara to try.  My prior experience with Paula Dorf was through her eyebrow shaping kit and I love it so I couldn’t wait to swatch and wear her eyeshadow and mascara.

Paula Dorf, makeup, beauty, review, BrandBacker, Paula Dorf Cosmetics

Paula Dorf Aztec City Eyes Palette

Likes: I love the size of this palette and the overall shades (being the nude eyeshadow lover that I am).  The palette came with a dual ended brush which works well (I compare the quality to my Sonia Kashuk brushes).

Dislikes:  Blue eyeshadow is just not my thing.  Minimal color payoff, it takes a lot for color to show.

Overall: It will stay in my eyeshadow arsenal because this palette works well for a soft makeup look.  The palette is a great shape easy to pack for travel.  Get yours here and use codeTEAL for your own free Paula Dorf Teal Mascara to try.

Paula Dorf, makeup, beauty, review, BrandBacker, Paula Dorf Cosmetics

Paula Dorf Teal Mascara

Likes: Great, dark teal color I love because it is not as severe as black.  It is beautiful.  Dries quickly and did not harden my lashes.

Dislikes: As you can see in the photo above, most of the product comes out on the tip on the brush, not the entire brush.  This makes application difficult.

Overall:  It’s okay.   If more mascara would come out, it would be a winner.

I received  Paula Dorf’s Aztec City Eye Pallete and Paula Dorf’s Teal Mascara complimentary for review.

My review reflects my honest opinions.

Happy December + My Style: Pencil Skirt

IMG_0810

Hey Luvs: It’s the first day of the last month of the year!  It’s a wonderful time of year!

Today, I am linking up with other fashion bloggers (first time everrrrrr) through the BLM Girls #StyleWERKShop Blogger Challenge linkup.  Our challenge?  To share how we style a pencil skirt. You know me, all black everything.   Click here to see more.  Challenge ends December 13th so keep checking back. xox, Pascha

fashion, style, my style, fashion blogger, Nordstrom, Michael Kors, Saks, Target

Jacket: Michael Kors, brooch: consignment, sweater: Target, pencil skirt: Nordstrom and boots: SAKS.

BLM Girls

Review: KISS Instawave Automatic Curler

KISS Instawave Automatic Curler, hair tool, curling iron, review, As Seen On TV, Brandbacker

Being the product junkie that I am I was so excited to receive the KISS Instawave Automatic Curler for review.  My daughter Madisyn’s hair is just past her shoulders and I enlisted her as my guinea pig for my new toy.  I thought I might be able to try on the longest part of my hair but the barrel is huge.

Hair Type: Medium length, coarse, thick hair.

KISS Instawave Automatic Curler, hair tool, curling iron, review, As Seen On TV, Brandbacker

photo credit: KISS Products

The Instawave Automatic Curler was larger than I thought and the buttons were simple: low and high.  I was concerned it would wind Madisyn’s hair into a tangling mess and fry it into a matted mess but she is braver than me and set out to try it.  It was so easy to use.  Sectioned off about an inch of hair and the barrel started to wind it (it can be wound in either direction) and you just hold it for a short while to curl.  There is my issue, as with any curling heat tool, how long do I have to hold it to curl it?  We tried it on the  low heat setting first and held it for a reasonably short while and we ended up with loose curls; we tried it on the high heat settings and yielded the same result.  We tried it for longer an both settings and got the same loose curls.  We didn’t want to hold it for any longer for fear of heat damage (same concern as any heat tool for hair).  Initially I was going to include an instruction video but we were not overjoyed with the results and the pictures were not worth sharing.  The curls were very loose and left us both unimpressed. I think it would work better on thinner and longer hair.

Overall:  I would recommend the Instawave Automatic Curler.  No kidding, if you have thin(ish) hair with length beyond your shoulders then this may be the tool for you.  What do you think? You can purchase the Instawave online at KISSInstaWave.com. Additionally in the US, KISS InstaWave is available in Target, Ulta & Amazon.com.  In Canada, Kiss InstaWave is available at Walmart and will soon be available on Walmart Canada dotcom, too – it is expected to be live on November 20th.

From KISS Products:

KISS InstaWave is a fully automatic tangle-free curler that instantly creates beautiful curls
Easy for anyone to use, from any angle, with any hand
Features a Curl Dial with left/right curl directions
Automatically shuts off after 90 minutes
2 heat settings with a low/high switch with maximum temperature of 420

Instructions:

Hold InstaWave vertically
Simply place section of hair on the InstaWave curling rod
Touch the Curl Dial either left or right, and the InstaWave instantly and automatically curls the hair
Hold for 5-10 seconds, hold longer for tighter curls and less for beachy waves
Pull the InstaWave down vertically, letting hair out
**Tip: Switch between curling right and curling left to create the most natural looking curls

 Sponsored Post

The Pasch Life: My happy accident.

iPhone, iPhone 5, Apple

::cue the violins::

It was a regular day, I was driving and on the phone acting a fool with my girlfriend Tameka (hands free of course) and when I reached my destination I put the phone to my ear and tried to exit my car.  Of course I was doing too much and SMASH!  My beloved (case-less)  iPhone fell to the ground.  It was face down but I knew. I just knew the screen was shattered.  You know when you drop your phone, you pick it right up and you have that feeling of relief like you dodged a bullet?  I didn’t feel confident at all.  I turn my phone over and the screen is shattered.  ::insert side eye and eye roll here::

After some light drama with an “authorized dealer” I ended up at the Apple Store.  My contract was up in 12 days.  I went into the Apple Store and looked at the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus. Considering that I had an iPad mini I chose the iPhone 6, a protective case, Apple Care and set my phone up and headed home.  It wasn’t until I got home that I felt relieved.  I was mortified at the thought that I had no phone just a few short hours before; I do so much on my phone.

I learned that I need to be “unplugged” weekly.  I was too attached to my phone.  There, I admitted it. It wasn’t until I got home that I could begin to enjoy my new iPhone because I was so engrossed with getting a new phone that I didn’t really admire my new phone. I love this phone!  It is so fast and the larger size is awesome and best of all…I love my pretty pink case.  Being so busy with life I would have probably kept my iPhone 5 well into the new year, I had not even considered upgrading.  I hated that I ruined my phone but I am like a kid with a new toy with my iPhone 6.  It is SO FAST! Have I spent less time attached to my phone?  Yes.

iPhone, iPhone 6, gold

You ever have a happy accident?

xxo, Pascha